Please review my IELTS essay (task 1: chart)

Topic: The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Could someone help me to correct my essay, please? I have read several samples but I still want to write in my style, so could you please read my writing and point out my mistakes? Thank you so much!

My essay:

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of Australian people who pursuited physical activities regularly in 2010, in terms of age and gender.

Overall, women were more likely active than men. From the age of 25 to the age of 65, the percentage of women doing physical activities was bigger than men, it sometimes appeared a big gap between men and women rate, it could be higher than 10 per cent.

Around a half of Australia females involved in doing physical activies frequently, from 47.1% to 53.3%, while almost all of the percentages of males were a bit lower, ranging from 39.5% to 47.7%, except in the young age (15-24), men did more physical activities than women, the rate accounted for 52.8%.

The age groups that had the big differences between the rate of men and women doing exercise and other relevant activities were the age group of 25-34, 35-55, 45-54, and 55-64, and the gaps between the rates of men and women in these age groups were 6.7%, 13%, 10.2%, respectively.

The grapth aslo shows that, in 2010, when people were under 65 years old, females did more physical activities than males, but when they get older, this rate was silimar between males and females (46.7% and 47.1%).