Please review my IELTS essay ( task 1 - band 6.0)
Here is my revised essay:
The line graph compares price changes in three categories of food: fresh fruits and vegetables, sugars and sweets, and carbonated drinks as well as the consumer-price index, using data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics for all average US urban consumers in January of each year from 1978 until 2009.
In general, the prices of the three food product groups increased over the 30 years in question. However, compared with the general consumer price index, two groups were below it for most of that period, but the price of fresh fruits and vegetables was consistently above it.
All the lines on the graph have the same starting figure in 1985. Over the period, the CPI rose gradually from around 100 in 1985 to over 200 in 2009. Prices for sugar and sweets and carbonated drinks showed similar trends. Although their prices also rose, they were consistently below the CPI average after 1985. At the whole time it is general fluctuated, sugar and sweets reached 200 in 2009, higher than the final figure of carbonated drinks at 150 after the long period.
Prices rose highly for fresh fruits and vegetables, in especially after 1985. From the same figure of about 60 at the start of the period, the prices finished at about 330 on the index in 2009.
Top answer
The line graph compares price changes in three categories of food: fresh fruits and vegetables, sugars and sweets, and carbonated drinks as well as the consumer-price index, using data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics for all average US urban consumers in January of each year from 1978 until 2009. In general, the prices of the three food product groups increased over the 30 years in question. However, compared with the general consumer price index, two groups were below it for most of that period, but the price of fresh fruits and vegetables was consistently above it.
- The line graph compares price changes in three categories of food: fresh fruits and vegetables, sugars and sweets, and carbonated drinks as well as the consumer-price index, using data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics for all average US urban consumers in January of each year from 1978 until 2009.
- In general, the prices of the three food product groups increased over the 30 years in question.
- However, compared with the general consumer price index, two groups were below it for most of that period, but the price of fresh fruits and vegetables was consistently above it.
- All the lines on the graph have had the same starting figure in 1985.
- Over the period, T he CPI rose gradually from around 100 in 1985 to over 200 in 2009.
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The line graph compares price changes in three categories of food: fresh fruits and vegetables, sugars and sweets, and carbonated drinks as well as the consumer-price index, using data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics for all average US urban consumers in January of each year from 1978 until 2009.
In general, the prices of the three food product groups increased over the 30 ye
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