Please review my IELTS essay task 1

Topic:

The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

My essay:

The bar chart represents the percentage of men and women passing their driving test between 1980 and 2010 in one Asian country.

Overall, the chart depicts the passing rate of women is more than the passing rate of men. A small drop can be observed in the percentage of women passing in 2010 even though remained more than men.

In the year 1980, the rate of women passing the driving test was 48%, whereas men passing rate was 28%. The passing rate of men in the year 1990 had significantly increased by 8%, while the passing rate in women increased by 3%.

In the year 2000, for both categories, the passing rate of women and men witnessed an upward trend of 68% and 49% respectively. The passing rate of women declined by 4%, whereas the passing rate of men remain same in the year 2010. It has been observed from chart that the passing rate of women was almost 20% higher than men in every decade.

A request if you could provide band score or review the essay highlighting the need of improvement in the 4 sections of writing task. Thank you.