Please review my IELTS essay task 1

Topic: The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

My essay:

The pie chart depicts the major factors that cause the negative impact on the productivity of agricultural land, while the table illustrates how three regions of the world were affected by these causes during the 1990s.

It is clear from the pie chart that there are three principal reasons why farmland become degraded, and over-grazing is the biggest one. In addition, the table shows that Europe had a far higher proportion of unproductive land than Oceania and North America.

Looking at the detail, the single greatest reason for global land degradation is over-grazing, which accounts for 35% of the worldwide land. Next, deforestation and over-cultivation contribute significantly to this agricultural land problem, at 30% and 28% respectively.

Of the three regions, Europe showed the highest percentage of degraded land during the 1990s, at 23%. Interestingly, over-grazing was not the crucial factor but deforestation, which caused 9. 8% of the Europe's land to become degradation. The second most affected region was Oceania with a total of 13% of its land degraded, and the reason explained mostly for this number was over-grazing, at 11.3%. It is also noteworthy that there was no over-cultivation action in Oceania's farmland. Moreover, out of total of 5% of degraded land in North America, over-cultivation was again the main cause, responsible for 3.3%. Two other factors constituted a small proportion in North America's unproductive land, at 0.2% by deforestation and 1.5% by over-grazing.