Please review my IELTS essay (Task 1)

Topic:

Chart:

My Answer:

The bar graph illustrates the percentage of England and Wales households that were owned and rented between 1918 and 2001.

With regard to households in owned accommodation, there is an overall increase in percentage of 42% between 1918 and 2011. Furthermore, despite minor fluctuations, the graph increases to a peak of 69% in 2001 before marginally decreasing in 2011 by 4%. It is also worth noting that in 1939 and 1953, the percentage remained constant.

Moving on to the percentage of households in rented accommodation, there is an overall decrease in percentage of 42% from 1918 and 2011. Additionally, the graph declines from 1918 and 2001. Afterward, there is a slight increase in percentage in 2011 (by around 5%). Notably, in 1939 and 1953, the graph remained constant at 78%.

As with any graph, this, too, has similarities and differences. Interestingly, in 1939 and 1953, both graphs remained constant and in 1917, both graphs had equivalent percentages – 50%. However, while the percentage in owned accommodation experienced an overall increase, the other graph had a decrease. Moreover, the graph regarding rented accommodation started off higher in 1918, but the reverse is true in 2011; it is lower in value.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CORRECT FOR SPELLING, PUNCTUATION, AND GRAMMAR MISTAKES AS WELL. THANKS IN ADVANCE!

(Book 13, Test 2)