Please review my IELTS essay (RTI 2 - task 1)
The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.
The bar chart depicts the admissions to three entertainment venues in 2009, and the table presents entrance fees to some events in the same year.
Overall, the attendance at cinemas was superior to the others. In addition, admission price of cinema was the cheapest among the list of events.
In detail, sports and theme parks welcomed about 150,000 visitors and 350,000 visitors, respectively. These figures were outnumbered by the flock to cinemas with 1,150,000 visitors.
A deeper analysis into the table reveals that admission price of cinema was at the bottom of the list with only $15 for a person and $55 for a family. Besides, tickets of cricket game and basketball game were quite affordable when they had a slightly higher price, compared to tickets of cinema. In contrast, theme parks and various types of football game required a much higher admission fee. It took an individual $70 to attend a theme park, while the price was tripled for a family to enter. Above all, football matches seemed to be the most expensive events when a single ticket varied from $71 to $75, and a family ticket costed around $289 at average.
(193 words)
Top answer
The bar chart depicts shows / plots / compares the admissions to three categories of entertainment venues, sporting events, theme parks and movie theaters in 2009. and The table presents lists the individual and family (four people) ticket prices for five sporting events, cinemas and theme parks. entrance fees to some events in the same year.
- The bar chart depicts shows / plots / compares the admissions to three categories of entertainment venues, sporting events, theme parks and movie theaters in 2009.
- and The table presents lists the individual and family (four people) ticket prices for five sporting events, cinemas and theme parks.
- entrance fees to some events in the same year.
- (Be more precise.
- ) Overall, the attendance at cinemas was higher superior (superior is better in quality) to the others.
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The bar chart depicts shows / plots / compares the admissions to three categories of entertainment venues, sporting events, theme parks and movie theaters in 2009. and The table presents lists the indi
0The bar chart compares the attendance numbers for three categories of entertainment venues – sports, theme parks and movie theaters – in 2009. The table lists their typical individual and family (four people) ticket prices in the same year.
Overall, attendance numbers at the movie theaters swamped those of the theme parks and sporting events. These numbers were negatively correlated w
0
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