Please review my IELTS essay. If you were an examiner, what band you would give me? Can you make an overall comment about my writing skills including paraphrase, expressing ideas etc.

Topic: Some people think that studying from the past teaches us nothing about today's life. Others argue that history is a valued source of information. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

My essay:

People have different views about whether historical knowledge brings relevant values to contemporary society or not. While some people maintain that the information learned from the olden days have no longer useful for the present day, I believe that the appreciate experiential data could be collected from previous events.

On the one hand, one of the most tangible reasons why history is not proper for today’s world is gender equality. For example, while women were just considered as a housewife in the past, nowadays society provide women the opportunity to enjoy the same rights as men, including economic participant and decision-making. Another reason is people have no guarantee of the accuracy of the early stage. This mean, events of our past are interpreted in different ways to suit different needs. Therefore, human kinds might learn the wrong thing.

On the other hand, some people argue that history is definitely an indispensable part of human civilization. In other words, history provides identity, and this is unquestionably one of the reasons all modern nations encourage its teaching in some form. Historical information includes evidence about how families, groups and the whole countries were formed and evolved over time. Vietnamese students, for instance, study history and know about their victories against outside intruders, so they take pride in their origin. Furthermore, history offers a storehouse of data about how people and societies behave. As a result, people could have a thorough insight into things. How can we evaluate war if the nation is at peace - unless we use historical materials? How can we understand the influence of technological innovation or the role that the young generations play in our modern life? This fundamentally, is why we can not stay away from history.

In conclusion, while both perspectives have benefits and drawbacks in our ever-changing world, I would contend that the ancient knowledge will always have a crucial role in preparing for our future.