Please review my IELTS essay and help me add some ideas for the conclusion as well as make my essay more concise . Thank you

TOPIC: Nowaday, some people like to give help to the local community or provide people with direct help. Other people prefer to give money to national and international organizations. Discuss the both methods and give your own opinion on which is better?

My essay:

Give hand to the needy is a humanitarian activity that attracts the attention of public in recent years. Though many people argue that helping and supporting should be provided directly to those who are in need in the neighborhoods, I agree with others who believe that it is better to make the contribution to national and international organizations.

On the one hand, there are two major reasons why many people give financial support to charities. First and foremost, these national and international organizations can help numerous disadvantaged people all over the world. When everyone contributes profit to the charity, the amount of money will be more than one person. The organizations whose a large scale can brings these funds to support the needy in different regions effortlessly. Secondly, national and international charities are trustworthy on the account of its reputation. This was demonstrated through their contribution to society in the past. Thanks to them, the nemofund inhabitants donate will be sent to certain places where people with difficult circumstances are located. The donators will feel more secure when the profit or other items including books, clothes, food they send can help the right people.

On the other hand, others make a decision to donate directly because some charity groups are deceived. For instance, few unbelievable charities take avantage of donators’ kindness to pocket their profit instead of supporting the needy as the contributors wish. Therefore, to ensure that the disadvantaged people receive money or anything fully, a lot of individuals choose to make a direct donation rather than make contribution to charities. Moreover, they can have a wide range of benefits from participating in volunteer groups. This is a ideal opportuny for them to expand their relationship, exchange the knowledge, and enhance their life skills. In particular, they are likely to be proud and satisfied when they can make the devotion to community.

In conclusion, even though both views have strong points, it seems to me that it is better to give the needy financial support via national or international charities.