Please review my IELTS essay :333

TOPIC: The government is spending a lot of money discovering other planets. Some people think that the government is wasting money and should spend more money addressing the problem of the public. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

MY ESSAY:

There is a agreement that would rather the Government financially concentrates more on public issues than cosmic discovery, a waste of money. From my prospective, I believe that both of the problems should be raised money at on the grounds that they all are beneficial to the world.

Space exploration gives human new opportunities in the future. First, we can enhance our living standard with the findings from universe. As many other planets have their own properties and minerals, namely 'penguite' , which consists strange cocktail that have ever only been found in meteorites.Hence, the scientists can take advantage of them as bulding materials or energy sources. Furthermore, learning about the space helps in the protection from outer space danger. It is inevitable of our planet to suffer from the outside like the incident of a meteorite hitting Russia. However, with the upcoming knowledge about the other planets, human have a chance of tackling this problem.

Besides, financial contribution to public is still one of the priorities. Numerous international issues are awaiting solution. Moreover, these miseries will lead to the decay of a society and more severely, the end of humanity someday. Despite this, lack of money makes it difficult to improve the conditions such as diseases or poverty. Therefore,  it is necessary to pay more cash on human as soon as possible.  Furthermore, human is the motivation for discovering the space. If the government fails to take care of the residents, focusing on another field is far-reached. To illustrate, if education is neglected, it will disturbed the development of cosmology. 

In conclusion, the process of exploring other planets is not a misuse of money as long as there are enough budget belonging to the public service.