Please review my IELTS essay :333

TOPIC: Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach art subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximize chances of employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

MY ESSAY:

In response to the increasing cost of university tuition and small possibility of employment for graduates, there is a common opinion that universities should focus solely on vocational courses for degree rather than the arts. Notwithstanding, I strongly disagree with this perspective as I believe that the artistic subjects are also vital to the improvement of critical thinking as well as learners’ contribution to the society.

First of all, the education of the humanities helps instill critical thinking, which plays a key role in a career path. For the reason that studying society and culture raise people to become an active thinker, in other words, gain the skills such as problem solving, accelerate situations and conceptualising in every condition. Such skills are undeniably transferable to some occupations of politics, law to mention but a few. Therefore, although it appears that these subjects are not available in seeking a rewarding job, they do the applicants good by enhancing the recognition of the employers.

Furthermore, the arts are greatly involved in society in various fields. On the one hand, should they not educated in universities, the number of people well-informed of social knowledge, who make irreplaceable contributions to the development of a country, will diminish to a great extent. Moreover, that society holds the risks of culture loss and uncivilization due to this ignorance. For instance, without history, it is out of the question for people to learn from the past mistakes and move forward. Whereas medicine, science and business are reachable, it is undoubted that humanities still have no hope of dominating civilization.

In conclusion, it does not make sense to eliminate the artistic subjects while they benefit the promotion of critical thinking, which is useful for not only the career path but also the whole civilization.