Please review my IELTS essay 2
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Hosting of a global sporting events is a coveted activity for many developed and under-developed countries. Some schools of thought believes that such events will draw in the needed developments and investments opportunities to host countries while others sees it as a huge burden to the economy and infrastructure. I am of the opinion that such world sport activities will give a country exposure to investments opportunities and development of successful international business relationships.
In the past hundred years, it has been clearly documented that international sporting events attract business opportunities to the localities and country where it is hosted. These are based on the successes recorded in many countries where investors swooped in and created new businesses by engaging the locals in investments programs. For instance, South Africa witnessed a sharp rise in economy after the hosting of the continent's first world cup. Secondly, there is often a noticeable increase in development within the vicinity of the event before and after the sport events. Small business around the venue enjoys the patronage of the visitors throughout the duration of the sport program. Reviews at the last concluded African cup of nation in Nigeria, shop owners witnessed a sharp increase in sales of sporting paraphernalia in an around the location of the game. These are few of the advantageous of being a host country to a global sport events.
On the other hand, some people may argue that entertaining the huge number of visitors for these types of event will place a huge burden on the economy. Though this is a fair point, it is quite remarkable to note that lump sum of monies are often set aside for events of this magnitude during the yearly budgetary allocations. These will take care of any eventualities that may come up in the course of the planning. Similarly, some mentioned damage to the infrastructure as one of the factors due to the huge number of spectators anticipated. However, It is worthy to note that most of the game facilities built conforms to international standard with range of participant it will accomodate clearly stated. In all these, it can be deduced that most of the excuses are driven by fear of the unknown which can be sorted out by adequate planning.
In conclusion, it is a welcome development for countries to be a global host to international athletes due to the massive business opportunities and foreign investments it attracts, With sufficient planning, discerning arguments can be swiftly silenced to pave way for the much needed developments.
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0The first issue is that you wrote nearly 425 words.
The minimum is 250. You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high scores. There are many reasons.
First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for each of those errors.
Second, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. Th
0There are many unnecessary words and repetitive phrases in your essay. It can be improved by deleting them.
Hosting of global sporting events is a coveted activity for many developed and under-developed countries. Some schools of thought believes (wrong form) that such events will draw in the needed develo
0Thanks so much for your reviews. Sincerely appreciate you.
I will endeavor to take the necessary corrections.
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