Please review my IELTS essay

Some people say that playing computer games is bad for children in every aspect. Others say that playing computer games can have positive effects on the way children develop. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

The influence of playing games on children is one of the most controversal topic for people. A part of the society belive that playing e-game is always negative for children but the rest say that it can have some benefits for children in developing. While I think that playing games online has a lot of drawbacks for children, I believe that it has some strongpoints.

There are several negative effects of playing online games for children. To begin with, playing computer games can affect children’s physical health in a bad way. When youngsters sit to play games for a long time, they will do not have time to exercise or play sports, it can lead to some bone-related diseases. By the way, the screens of computers have blue light which is harmful to people’s eyes. Therefore, looking at computer’s screen too long can make the eyes become tired or have some eyes-related diseases. Additionally, spending too much time playing online games can have bad influence on children’s study result. To be specific, when children play games too much, they can be addicted to computer games. In that case, they may not concentrate on the lessons in class, they can have less time to do their homework. As a consequence, their academic achievement become worse.

Despite the negative sides above, I am of the opinion that playing online games is beneficial to children in some way. Firstly, playing games on the computers can help to expand their thinking. There are a lot of games that require players to create an idea, a plan, a method to win that round. As a result, it motivates children to think logically and it also helps them to develop their problem-solving skill. Secondly, playing online games is a way for children to relax. Obviously, in the modern society, there are a lot of subjects, skills that children need to learn. They need to learn it to have a better life in the future, to have ability to solve their problems by themselves. Therefore, playing games is a ideal way for children to unwind for a while after a stressful day in class.

In a nutshell, to my view, although playing computer games can have a lot of disadvantages for children, if we can use it properly, it can bring children some advantages.