Please review my IELTS essay

Some people say that playing computer games is bad for children in every aspect. Others say that playing computer games can have positive effects on the way children develop. Discuss both views and give your opinion. (Education)

Computer games are becoming more and more popular among children. While playing computer games produces several drawbacks, I am more convinced that they have positive effects on the development of children.

On the one hand, playing computer games have negative effects on children in several aspects. First, children can become addicted to computer games if they can not control their time spent on them. This will damage children’s physical health, especially their eyes, as they are glued to the computer screen for a long period of time. Second, academic performance may be affected. When spending too much time playing computer games, children may not work hard and fall behind with their studies, resulting in poor academic performance.

On the other hand, it is unreasonable to conclude that playing computer games is bad in every aspect as it brings many benefits for children. First, young generation can develop their brain when playing games. This is because they have to make quick movements to control the character to shoot or hit others as in action games, for instance. Furthermore, in some strategy games, they have to think of strategies to defeat the enemies. As a result, children can sharpen their brain and react quickly when there is a problem. Second, children can develop their cooperation skills, which is an important skill for their future career. Through playing in a team, youngsters learn to communicate and work effectively with other players in order to win the game together.

In conclusion, playing computer games does have negative effects on children; however, I believe that its benefits are more significant.