Please Review My IELTS Essay?

Many researchers believe that we can now study the behaviour of children to see if they will grow up to be criminals, while others disagree. To what extent do you think crime is determined by genetics? Is it possible to stop children from growing up to be criminals?

Crime is frequently a concern of the government. In the modern day, with the leap of the field of biology, many researchers think that by observing the behavior of children, we can predict whether children will become criminals or not. I advocate that crime does depend on genetics, but on a small scale. And to prevent children from engaging in criminal activities, educating children to raise their awareness can be an effective way.

By studying the children’s inherited traits from their parents, researchers can know a part of their personalities and predict their likelihood of becoming lawbreakers or immoral people. In other words, if a child lives in a family with physical and verbal abuse, they are more likely to be trauma dumpers, have an antisocial and aggressive mindset, which is the foundation for the tendency of being rebellious, breaking the government’s laws like bullying, abusing and klling others. Hitler is a case in point. Due to being born and reared by a dogmatic father, Hitler became heartless, arbitrary and cruel. Throughout his life, he caused the genocide of millions of Jewish people and was the root cause of senseless wars among many nations in World War II. Although information about the attitude and behavior of children can lead people to the prediction whether children themselves will become offenders or not, there are still exceptions. Some children growing up in bad conditions like having divorced parents, violence and the like, albeit being ill-tempered and angry, do not wreak havoc on society or a certain individual. As a result, despite having its own advantages, studying children’s behavior still has drawbacks and researchers can not merely depend on that information to judge children’s future.

From my perspective, because the environment is the core factor posing criminals, children can be taught to be aware of what is wrong and what is true and to behave politely in public by their teachers and parents. For instance, schools and parents can cooperate in sports activities and other extracurricular activities in order to listen to children's feelings and at the same time, raise their awareness of the consequences of committing a crime.

To sum up, although behaviors of children can indicate their likelihood of being lawbreakers in the future, researchers should not solely depend on that information. Besides, any efforts to reduce this problem, including creating a good learning environment for them, are big steps forward.