Please review my IELTS essay
Today, the high sales of popular goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real need of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, it is true that the increasing of similar products on sales for many companies due to the influence of the advertising. In my opinion, we should take carefully into account for what we buy, although I completely agree that we can’t deny significant impact on what advertising industry brings for the economy.
There are a number of reasons why advertisement can tempt people to buy some aimless products. Since advertisement is a vital tool for companies to expose good aspects about their products, which persuading various potential customers to buy more their items. By using visual effects, catchy melody and eye-catching images, the advert draws more consumers’ attentions. Take Iphone smartphone is a case in point, people all over the world want to own cutting-edge devices or the lastest version after watching an Iphone’s fancy advertising without thinking whether they really need it or not. For this reasons, it is understandable why their products are able to boost more sales for firms rapidly and widen their abroad market.
In other words, I suppose that the advertising manipulates people. It aims to convince people that buying a product will make them happier. Furthermore, the biggest downside about the advertising is that it seems to be deceptive to show the best value on their products that they may not have. As a result, consumers are more likely to buy various products that they do not need. This may lead to increase more disposal waste and harm detrimentally for the environment. I suggest that the governments should regulate some bad advertising in order to reduce possible issues that it may have.
In conclusion, it can’t be denied that a huge amount of benefits that advertising industry brings to nations and companies. I believe that we should consider what we really want before purchasing any products.
Top answer
In recent years, it is true that (Do not use these dummy-it clauses. They add no content to the sentence. They are only annoying and distracting for the reader.
- In recent years, it is true that (Do not use these dummy-it clauses.
- They add no content to the sentence.
- They are only annoying and distracting for the reader.
- Their only purpose is to add 4 to your word count.
- ) the increasing (wrong usage) of similar products on sales (wrong phrase.
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In recent years, it is true that (Do not use these dummy-it clauses. They add no content to the sentence. They are only annoying and distracting for the reader. Their only purpose is to add 4 to your word count. Delete.) the increasing (wrong usage) of similar products
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