Please review my IELTS essay

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

While numerous governments set their ultimate goal of promoting national economic well-being, others believe that other areas are also of equal importance. Personally, I agree entirely with the latter opinion.

On the one hand, there are a plethora of reasons why many authorities treat the economy as a higher priority than other measures of progress. First and foremost, a prosperous economy allows an increasing quantity of money allocated to investment in infrastructures and public services, hence improving residents’ quality of life. Additionally, it results in more job opportunities for the citizens, thus avoiding a redundant workforce which proves absolutely essential due to the present competitive job market by virtue of the growing population. Finally, attempts to contribute to a healthy economy and make the country stand on a global stage also present a way of paying tribute to what the ancestors sacrificed to protect the country.

On the other hand, I would argue that other forms of progress are just as significant as the aforementioned economic one. Ultimately, the purpose of economic improvement is to enable citizens to enjoy a fulfilling life, which comprises various factors. In particular, the government should take into account the area of human rights, democracy, social justice, and equality, which are the most apparent indicators of the level of development of a society. Without them, the citizens would have to suffer from social discrimination and criticism, leading to unhappy lives. Another important consideration is whether industrialization is moving towards environmental sustainability because many industrial activities negatively impact the environment with excessive amounts of poisonous emissions or massive deforestation.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that the economy is obviously a key marker of a country’s success; however, social and environmental criteria are equally important.