Please review my IELTS essay

Hi! Please review my essay. Thank you so much~

Topic:

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Is it a positive or negative development?

My essay:

The strong process of globalization has been a result of the worldwide expansion of goods that people could effortlessly find and purchase any products from other nations. While I understand that this trend may entail some upsides, I strongly believe that its downsides are greater.

On the one hand, the launch of products around the world can be beneficial to foster better cultural exchange among countries. People from a culture could be fortunate to experience numerous typical products like foods, beverages, costumes, and even toys imbued with the national identity of other countries. Furthermore, this trend has resulted in the substantial development of global transportation. More and more delivery companies in wide modes of transport such as road, maritime, air, and rail have been established and flourished, this mean that there are more career opportunities for people in this service industry.

On the other hand, this trend can result in significant drawbacks in terms of the economic aspect. First, domestic manufacturing industries might be strangled because of strong competitiveness of thousands of high-quality products imported from other countries. Currently, for example, most of the electronic products on the developing market are made in China, even this is what happening on the market of advanced countries, which originally researched and developed these technology devices. Second, the prevalence of various goods in the world could lead to the decline in the revenues of tourism. The habits of spending money on local specialities on travels might be no longer existent. These products are becoming incredibly commonplace that people could straightforwardly buy them in any supermarkets or even convenient stores adjacent to their home instead of on trip abroads.

In conclusion, despite several benefits that globalization has, its seem to me that they are far outweighed by the potential disadvantages.