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Kiniem066 Posted 4 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please review my IELTS essay

Topic: Online shopping is becoming more popular. How could this trend affect our environment and the kinds of work required?

My essay:

It is a fact that electronic commerce platforms are becoming pervasive these days. This might result in both positive and negative impacts on our environment and the job market.

The development of e-commerce activities has a host of environmental influences. First, the process of packaging goods before sending them to customers contributes more refuse, although sellers are encouraged to use recyclable materials, a huge amount of plastic and paper waste continue to be released into the environment. Furthermore, the prevalence of shopping on the Internet meaning a rise in a number of delivery vehicles, which generate more emissions, lead to air pollution. However, the environmental upside of buying online is energy savings. Indeed, there is no doubt that online stores consume less electricity in comparison with traditional stores.

In terms of employment, there are some striking changes stemming from this purchasing behaviour. One of negative impacts is joblessness among clerks and custodians in shops. By application of cutting-edged technologies, online shop’s owners can straightforwardly manage and take care of shoppers by artificial intelligence, this puts traditional staff out of work. By contrast, many career opportunities are offered for people in transportation. The substantial expansion of e-commerce requires a huge workforce in order to deliver products to customers. Thus, a great number of jobs for delivery workers generated can partially tackle the unemployment among younger people.

In conclusion, although online shopping tendency contains some adverse impacts on our environment and the job market, I believe that this trend will flourish in the next decades because of its favourable effects.

  

Top answer

) electronic commerce platforms are becoming pervasive these days. ) on our environment and the job market. The development of increase in e-commerce activities has a host of environmental issues.

  • ) electronic commerce platforms are becoming pervasive these days.
  • ) on our environment and the job market.
  • The development of increase in e-commerce activities has a host of environmental issues.
  • influences .
  • First, the process of packaging goods before sending them to customers contributes more refu se, (comma splice error) although sellers are encouraged to use recyclable materials, a huge ( Huge is a baby word.
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1 Answers
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It is a fact that (These dummy-it clauses are "filler" that add to the word count, but otherwise are useless.) electronic commerce platforms are becoming pervasive these days. This might result in both positive and negative impacts (That is not the actual question you are being asked to write about?) on our environment and the job market.

The developm

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