Please review my IELTS essay

My IELTS is in 8 days. Its my humble and genuine request if possible to provide band score along with the review so I can know my stand. Thank You.

Topic:

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

My essay:

It is believed by a number of people that extinction of certain vegetation and wildlife species is the most important environmental issue to deal with at present. Although, some disagree because there are other matters such global warming that needs urgent attention.

On one side, people are concerned about the extinction of certain wildlife species as a result of human activities such as deforestation and hunting. Urbanization have led to cutting down of trees and natural habitat of animals leaving them exposed to predators. Another reason is illegal hunting and poaching of endangered animals such tigers, rhinoceros, and elephants for leisure and monetary gain. These animals are at top of the food chain, loss of them will lead to only living herbivores. In other words, these animals will feed only on plants leading to loss of biodiversity and imbalance ecosystem.

Others believe that there are other important environmental problems that require more attention. The major issue is global warming. That has been threatening for many years due the selfishness of the human kind. It is said that the temperature of the earth have increased by 1.1C due to the industrialization. This has led to melting of ice at the poles of earth resulting in increase in sea level. Coastal areas are in threat of constant cyclone and flood. Climate changes also affects the season cycle making it difficult in crop production.

In conclusion, although extinction of particular species of flora and fauna is of concern but the increasing threat of high temperature and pollution requires priority attention.