Please review my IELTS essay

Topic:

Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person.

Why do you think this is the case?

What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

My essay:

Much research shows that numerous young adults are presently partial to having a conversation online instead of face-to-face. There are some reasons behind this phenomenon and several solutions should be adopted by the young people themselves to improve this situation.There are two primary reasons why the young generations are obsessed with meeting online. One reason is that social media and the Internet are more and more developing, which makes a condition for meeting online easily. For example, many applications these days are created to allow people to have a conversation through the Internet even if they are not close such as Facetime, Messenger, and WhatsApp, so people do not have to meet in person. Another reason is that the youth recently have a syndrome called “afraid of face-to-face communication”. This is because young adults are embarrassed or have much more difficult things to express directly, so socializing online helps them have the confidence to manifest easily.However, several solutions could be implemented to tackle this issue. The first solution would be dependent on themselves. This could be done by putting down their phones and integrating into the community. The second solution is that organizations might hold a meeting where the young could meet and talk together, which will improve friendships between people.In conclusion, it is clear that there are various reasons for communicating online, and steps need to be taken by the young to tackle this problem. It can be predicted that by talking face-to-face and holding offline meetings of these suggested measures, this issue would likely be alleviated.