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Khoa An Trần Posted 4 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please review my IELTS essay

Convenience food will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?



With the advancement of science and cutting-edge food processing techniques, junk foods are progressively pervasive owing to their convenience. Although fast food displaces long-lasting traditional food and age-old approaches in some countries and regions, the likelihood of that scenario happening worldwide in the future would be pretty low. In this essay, I will discuss why rapid-cooking foodstuff will not dethrone the position of slow but traditionally prepared one.
Admittedly, ready-to-eat products are most preferred in developing and affluent countries. To explain it, the demanding jobs and daunting tasks that employees in economic powerhouses have to be subject to are incredibly enormous. Therefore, they require cost-effective meals and cheaper options for the time constraint. For instance, researchers have estimated that 60% of workers do not have enough time to buy and cook healthy, fresh food for lunch in their offices. Because of that, they opt for a hamburger rather than a nutritious meal but time-consuming. Consequently, many employees, especially those without family, always relish fast food.
However, fast-producing foods still have a long time to catch up with the vital benefits that traditional cooking methods have provided humans for over a thousand years. Despite many advantages as well as the flexibility that the fast food industry has given us in previous years, that benefits also bring us on the verge of strokes and diabetes, which are acute symptoms of obesity. The more burgers and fried chickens you ingest, the higher rate you would be diagnosed with those hazardous diseases. Meanwhile, a fresh and revitalized salad bowl can bring far more benefits to our mental and physical health than we think. In other words, traditional cooking techniques still and invariably play an integral part in our modern-day society.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that fast food is gaining popularity in many parts of the world as it brings far more benefits in time shortages for the major of busy workers. However, traditional food will exist with humans for more than decades due to its health benefits.

  

Top answer

With the advancement of science and cutting-edge foo d-p rocessing techniques, junk convenience foods are progressively pervasive becoming increasingly common. owing to their convenience. Although fast food displaces long-lasting traditional food and age-old approaches in some countries and regions, ------------ I stopped here because a lot of your text is unnatural.

  • With the advancement of science and cutting-edge foo d-p rocessing techniques, junk convenience foods are progressively pervasive becoming increasingly common.
  • owing to their convenience.
  • Although fast food displaces long-lasting traditional food and age-old approaches in some countries and regions, ------------ I stopped here because a lot of your text is unnatural.
  • Rewire it in plain English, and DO NOT unnecessarily complicate your phrasing.
  • Focus on presenting clever/persuasive/convincing ideas and examples instead.
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With the advancement of science and cutting-edge food-processing techniques, junk convenience foods are progressively pervasive becoming increasingly common. owing to their convenience. Although fast food displaces long-lasting tradit

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