Please review my IELTS essay

Some people think that watching TV is bad for children, while others think that watching TV has more beneficial effects on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is a common belief that watching TV can harm children seriously. However, I am of the opinion that watching TV brings positive effects to the developing process of children.

On the one hand, watching TV is one of the fundamental factors leading to various problems in physical health of youngsters. In fact, looking at TV screens for hours prevents kids from participating in outdoor activities, especially playing sports which help to strengthen their bodies. Therefore, children can be lazier and more likely to suffer from obesity. In a recent research, many doctors reported that there was a remarkable increase in the number of obese children these days and the one of the most common triggers was watching TV more than five hours a day.

On the other hand, youngsters are beneficial a lot while watching TV due to the valuable knowledge it brings about. There are different channels that specialize in certain fields such as education, life skills or wild life of animals. As a result, only with an Internet-connected TV, children can have access to numerous programs that contain their favorite subjects, therefore, help to enlarge their in-depth understanding about the surrounding world. There was a survey conducted to ask children whether they were keen on watching TV or not. The result showed that the majority of them loved to watch TV and the most popular reason was the interesting knowledge they could gain from TV programs.

In conclusion, although watching TV presents certain drawbacks to youngsters, I contend that they should be encouraged to watch TV in a reasonable time to attain more thorough understanding about their worlds.