Please review my IELTS essay

The best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age of driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Traffic-related problems such as accidents have always been a complicated issue. It is believed that increasing legal age of driving is the best solution to enhancing road safety. For myself, I partially agree with this idea for the following reasons.

On one hand, increasing standard driving age of people allowed to be in traffic can lead to a decrease in the number of motor vehicles which can cause serious accidents on roads. For example, in the past if a person reaching his 18 is eligible to drive a car, after the change only those who are 20 years old and up can do it so there would be fewer young and inexperienced drivers on roads.

On the other hand, beside the legal age, there would definitely be other options which are also effective. First, governments and local authorities can organize some special campaigns to raise individuals’ awareness of the consequences of careless driving. This can boost their sense of responsibility to drive more carefully since their actions on roads would affect not only themselves but also their families. Moreover, instead of raising the minimum legal age, higher levels of financial punishment can be applied to those who do not obey traffic rules or cause accidents. Having to pay such a large amount of money for the mistakes that they made is also a good way to remind them of their irresponsible actions .

In conclusion, raising the standard age of driving is a good way to reduce accidents. However, there are still other options which can bring smiliar effectiveness such as setting up propagandas or increase financial punishment to such careless drivers.