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Hanh Nguyen 6614 Posted 4 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please review my IELTS essay

Some educational systems make students focus on certain subjects at the age of 15, while others require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of each system? Which is better?


There are some educational institutions that make students pay attention to attending certain classes at the age of 15, while others require their students to study various subjects before leaving school. Each system does have its own benefits, and I strongly believe that learning a small number of subjects is better for students.

Each educational system possesses certain benefits. On the one hand, with fewer subjects to learn, children have much more time to have a good grasp of certain fields as they will not be distracted by other unimportant subjects. As a result, they can comprehensively develop their ability into the subjects. On the other hand, having an opportunity to participate in many classes, students can gain knowledge from various fields. Thus, they are more likely to find out their strength and decide what field they want to pursue.

I totally believe that it is better to allow students to study certain subjects. The first reason is that when children focus on their main subjects, they can make careful plans and have the motivation to pay their full attention to study these subjects. Thus, it improves their knowledge as well as enhances academic performance. Another reason is that students who study a few subjects will have extra time to participate in extracurricular activities such as camping or dancing. As a result, they can relieve pressure from school and develop their soft skills such as communication and teamwork skills which are useful for their development.

In conclusion, both systems have their own advantages. However, I believe that learning certain subjects might be more beneficial because they can get comprehensive knowledge into subjects as well as have time to develop their soft skills.

  

Top answer

There are some educational institutions that make students pay attention to attending certain classes (That means that the student has to come to school and be physically present in class. They are not allowed to skip classes to go shopping, play video games or do other fun things. ) at the age of 15, while others require their students to study various subjects before leaving school.

  • There are some educational institutions that make students pay attention to attending certain classes (That means that the student has to come to school and be physically present in class.
  • They are not allowed to skip classes to go shopping, play video games or do other fun things.
  • ) at the age of 15, while others require their students to study various subjects before leaving school.
  • Each system does have its own benefits, and I strongly believe that learning focusing on a small number of subjects is better for students.
  • Each educational system possesses certain benefits.
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1 Answers
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There are some educational institutions that make students pay attention to attending certain classes (That means that the student has to come to school and be physically present in class. They are not allowed to skip classes to go shopping, play video games or do other fun things. I think this is not what you mean to say, because that is not t

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