Please review my Ielts essay

Topic:

Cam 13 test 4 task 2: In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry.

Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

My essay:

In this day and age, despite the help of machinery in agriculture, people around the globe still have nothing to eat. There are many reasons causing to this, and it is time the society took steps to mitigate this problem.

The primary reason why famine is still occurring is because of the rapid growth of population, leading to the ever-growing food demand. So in order to make profit by fulfilling people’s needs, plenty of businesses choose to overexploit the environment, resulting to the depletion of natural resources. Then no matter how much advancing the technology is, without the natural resources, a number of people still have to go through starvation.

There are several viable solutions to deal with this issue. The first solution would be family planning, government should encourage parents to take this serious, and sex education should be added to the curriculum for youngsters. For instance, dates back to a few years ago in China, family planning was made to be compulsory, families were only allowed to have approximately two children, and sex education was also started to be taught to students in schools. These two methods combining together help China to reduce birth rate significantly. Moreover, environmental campaigns should be lauched to raise the public awareness, as well as a new policy with stronger sanctions and penalties should be implemented to prevent unethical companies from overexploiting.

In conclusion, beside the aforementioned reason, there are still various reasons leading to hunger, and in order to solve this, appropriate steps need to be taken to tackle down this problem.