Please Review My IELTS Essay

Topic: Some people advocate the death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of the death penalty and give your opinion.

My essay:

Many people believe that the death penalty is necessary to keep the security system efficient in society. While there are some negative aspects of capital punishment, I agree with the view that without it we will become more vulnerable to violence.

The death penalty may be deemed unsuitable as a punishment for a variety of reasons. The most compelling argument is that we have no right to kill other humans. The right to life is the fundamental right of every human being, and no one can infringe on it, regardless of the person's actions. Furthermore, innocent people may be executed without due process. Such unjust sentences take the lives of innocent people and cause other citizens to lose faith in the rule of law and justice. Furthermore, criminals do occasionally repent of their actions. In this case, they should be given another chance to improve.

However, I believe that the death penalty is necessary for our society. For starters, it is a powerful deterrent to major crimes. The most effective way to prevent a person from committing a crime is to demonstrate the consequences of his or her actions. For example, the government of Pakistan has kept the rate of terrorism under control by enforcing the death penalty on members of terrorist organizations. Second, governments spend a significant portion of their national budgets on the upkeep of prisoners. Instead, this money could be used to further the development of society and the well-being of its citizens.

To summarize, while capital punishment has some drawbacks, I believe it is the most effective method of controlling criminals, reducing governmental costs, and discouraging others from committing crimes.

I'll be so thankful if you can mark my essay as well.