Please review my IELTS essay

Task 2: Some people believe that sport has an important role in society. Others, however, feel that it is nothing more than a leisure activity for some people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Sports has become a keen interest for innumerable people across the world. While some consider them an essential part of society, there is a belief that sports are merely leisure activities. I will elaborate on both sides of the matter and express my standpoint below.

A number of people believe sport is a normal leisure pursuit. People who hold this viewpoint state that it is only another form of entertainment. For instance, some people watch football on TV or in a stadium just for the sake of entertainment rather than playing it by themselves. Even if they do take the sport, it is still another type of exercise; therefore, it does not exert great impacts on people's way of life.

In contrast, it is argued that sport has played a vital role in our society. First, it is true that it is another form of exercise, but this proves it can tremendously improve people's physical health in a more sophisticated and thrilling way. Second, the more players are involved in the sport, the more greatly they will enhance various soft skills such as teamwork skills, problem-solving skills, and a sense of responsibility. These attributes are crucial to players' lifestyles and careers. Last but not least, it is an amazing way for people to connect and make new friends, whether it is a friendship with a teammate or simply a person who is similarly fond of the sport. In other words, it improves people's social life and widens their relationship circle.

In conclusion, sports have made tremendous contributions to the life quality of people who are interested in them by helping them keep fit, learn, develop and have fun.