Please review my IELTS essay

Nowadays in many countries more and more people are spending their time away from their families. Why is this? What are the effects on themselves and on their families?

In today’s world, many people allocate less time to stay with their family than previously. This issue comes from numerous reasons and causes numerous consequences for individuals and their families.

First and foremost, busy work and technological development are two of the most causes that led to unclose-knit together. In the modern world, human faces heavy workload to be an attempt spend for living cost. People might spend 12-14 hours per day for work, not to mention sometimes they must travel for business, consequently they usually don’t have time enough for families. The second reason is connected way changing through technological devices. Contact via social networks like messenger, facebook is more popular that gradually limits direct interaction. This communication way makes people difficult when they have to face to face with their family members.

From these above mentioned reasons, lack of interaction will bring about several adverse impacts on individuals and their families. If a person has trouble or difficulty on the contrary they can’t share their feeling and talk with another person in home, they will become stressful. Moreover, the lack of sharing cause weak bond between members in family and create arguments, misunderstandings, rivalry… even broken family. A common situation isa number of teenagers were affected by technology and parental neglect led to unstable upbringing. For example, if children access the internet without instruction of parents, they will have incorrect orientation in the future.

Finally, a hectic lifestyle and addicted technological devices are main reasons which make people go away from their families which will cause mental health affection and long-term consequences.