Please review my IELTS essay
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.
Topic:
Art classes such as painting or drawing are important for children's development, so it should be compulsory in high school. Do you agree or disagree?
My essay:
Many people claim that it should be mandatory for high school students to study art classes. While it is true that these types of subjects could be beneficial for students to some extent, I would argue that participating these classes should be optional in school.
To begin with, there are several benefits of art subjects for young individuals. Firstly, visual arts such as painting or drawing could help children express their creativity. For example, students attending art classes are possibly guided how to depict beautifully any objects or people in their imaginations, which could then improve their ability of conveying their ideas or demonstrate their thought. Secondly, since students are often encouraged to do several artworks by using their own hands during classes of art, it could help them develop dexterity skills. These skills are advantageous for young individuals in real life.
However, I would argue that students should not be required to participating in art classes. Owing to the main objective of schools being provide their students basic acknowledge for further development, school curriculum should focus on core subjects such as math, languages and sciences. These subjects could help students have more chances of employments in the future. Furthermore, there are a number of students showing no interests in art subjects. For example, a friend of mine in high school often struggled desperately with drawing while he was capable of solving math or physics problems effortlessly with his excellent logical thinking. If these students are forced to attend art classes, it could possibly make them feel depressed and uncomfortable with studying.
In conclusion, while I agree that art subjects have certain advantages for student’s growth, I believe that school-age children should have their own rights to choose these subjects or not.
(292 words)
Top answer
Many people claim that it should be mandatory for high school students to study art classes. While it is true that these types of subjects could be beneficial for students to some extent , I disagree that it should be compulsory; participation I would argue that participating in these classes should be optional in school. To begin with, there are several benefits of art subjects for teenagers young individuals.
- Many people claim that it should be mandatory for high school students to study art classes.
- While it is true that these types of subjects could be beneficial for students to some extent , I disagree that it should be compulsory; participation I would argue that participating in these classes should be optional in school.
- To begin with, there are several benefits of art subjects for teenagers young individuals.
- (High school students are aged about 14-18) Firstly , First, visual arts such as painting or drawing could help them children express their creativity.
- For example, students those attending art classes are possibly guided on how to depict beautifully any thing objects or people in their imaginations, which could then improve their ability of conveying their ideas.
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Many people claim that it should be mandatory for high school students to study art classes. While it is true that these types of subjects could be beneficial for students to some extent, I disagree that it should be compulsory; participation I would argue that participating
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