Please Review My IELTS Essay

Question

Topic: The diagram below shows how instant noodles are manufactured.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Before reading my essay, please help me with your explanations. Which sentences are correct among these sentences below?

(1)The diagram illustrates steps in the process of producing instant noodles.
(2)The diagram illustrates steps in the process of instant noodles production.
(3)The diagram illustrates steps in the instant noodles production process.
(4)The diagram illustrates steps in the producing process of instant noodles.

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Here is my essay

The diagram illustrates steps in a process of producing instant noodles.

Overall, there are eight stages in the manufacturing process of instant noodles, beginning with supplying raw flour and ending with labeling and sealing to become finished products.

First, flour which is the main ingredient is supplied and stored in silos. Until getting the enough quality needed. It is delivered to production line to start the processing. The flour, water and oil with designed ratio are mixed well, then this mixture is transformed to dough sheets by rollers. These sheets keep passing the line and is cut into strips before being formed in noodles discs. Cooking oil is added to the discs while they are still being drying. Next, cups will be filled with these discs; vegetables and spices are also added in this stage. Finally, the whole manufacturing process of instant noodles is completed by labeling and sealing to become finished instant noodles before being sold to customers.

Many thanks.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

(1)The diagram illustrates the steps in the process of producing instant noodles.

LE HANH 2383 Until getting the enough quality needed.

That is not a sentence, and it is not correct.

A lot of your text is repetitive "instant noodles".

Steps 5 and 6 are not described accurately.

There are some grammatical errors.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Sample essay:

The diagram illustrates the steps in the manufacturing process of producing instant noodles which are cups filled with dried noodles, vegetables and spices.

Overall, there are eight steps shown on the diagram, beginning with flour, a main ingredient, stored in silos and ending with labeling and sealing the cups. Five of the eight steps are in the production line making dry noodles. The steps to prepare the other ingredients are not illustrated.

In detail, flour is taken from storage silos to the factory. In steps two through six, the flour is made into dry noodles. First, the flour is mixed with water and oil to form a dough, which comes out of the mixer and pressed by rollers, making long thin sheets. The sheets are cut into strips, which are sliced and compressed into discs. The discs are immersed into hot cooling oil and fried. When they come out of the fryer, they are dried (step six). The noodles are put into the empty cups with vegetables and spices in step seven. In the last step, the cups are labeled and sealed.

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