Please review my IELTS essay

Question

Topic:Countries are becoming more and more similar because ppl are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?My essay:Somebody thinks that the uncomplicated buying purchase of people for getting the same productions all around the world is making characteristics of numerous countries similarly. I personally disagree with that opinion based on my own experiences.There is no denying that it is easily to find the variety of commodities from other countries in shopping malls or also small shops with all prices. Widely broadening individual culture and traditional to world market can bring a large benefit for one particular area and with the better assistance of investors from government and organizations in terms of tourism industry, social media, modern facilities, rising opportunities,…, the improving of financial and reputation development in other different continents can also come true no far.The features of country is created from its long history with special group activities, beautiful landmarks, significant events,…, when local people make it more and more widespread, it can be seem as they have large respect, huge love for their ancient property and other countries correctly recognize their wonderful lasting effort. Additionally, the great shopping choices also become various and abundant for clients, buying needs can fastly increase with unique products, delicate skills, professional research,.., giving the best overall advantages for both individuals and general organizations.Conclusion, the likeable goods sold everywhere in the world make customers easily approach more dissimilar countries and improve their own distinctive.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Nguy?n Luu Ly Th?oCountries are becoming more and more similar because ppl are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Please copy the instructions accurately.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

You wrote 227 words. The minimum is 250. You will lose points for this mistake.

Somebody (This refers to one person. e.g. Somebody's cell phone is ringing! It is not very appropriate for this topic.) thinks that the uncomplicated buying purchase (unnatural - what do you mean: that people buy on Amazon?) of people for getting the same productions (wrong word) all around the world is making characteristics of numerous countries similarly. (That makes no sense.) I personally disagree with that opinion based on my own experiences.

Wrong answer.

The essay prompt is: Is this a negative or positive development? Do you disagree that it is either a positive or negative development?

That does not make sense, because there are only two possible choices. There is not a third choice.

You have to pick one - either negative, or positive, and justify your answer in the body paragraphs.

You should write the essay again because you did not answer the prompt.

I highlighted the wrong words, grammatical errors and other problems.

There is no denying that it is easily to find a ~~the~~ variety of commodities (wrong word) from other countries in shopping malls or also small shops with all prices. Widely broadening individual culture and traditional to world market can bring a large benefit for one particular area and with the better assistance of investors from government and organizations in terms of tourism industry, social media, modern facilities, rising opportunities,…, the improving of financial and reputation development in other different continents can also come true no far.

The features of country is created from its long history with special group activities, beautiful landmarks, significant events,…, when local people make it more and more widespread, it can be seem as they have large respect, huge love for their ancient property and other countries correctly recognize their wonderful lasting effort. Additionally, the great shopping choices also become various and abundant for clients, buying needs can fastly increase with unique products, delicate skills, professional research,.., giving the best overall advantages for both individuals and general organizations.

Conclusion, the likeable goods sold everywhere in the world make customers easily approach more dissimilar countries and improve their own distinctive.

Please review my IELTS essay

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