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Lynrd Posted 5 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please review my IELTS essay

I really want to get some feedback from people here about my essay. Thanks in advance

Topic: Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations.

It is said that some people feel comfortable to remain their workplace during all their working life, while others prefer to change to work for many organizations. I believe that staying at the same company for a long time is a good way to develop.

On the one hand, working for different organizations has some advantages. The biggest benefit is chances to acquire diverse experiences. When a person starts a job, it is difficult for him to know whether this job will be suitable and he will enjoy it. After working, he feels that he is not comfortable or satisfied, it is a better way to find another job. Moreover, changing a workplace is a chance to get a higher position and salary.

On the other hand, working for the same organization bring some benefits. Firstly, workers will become more proficient in processes of their workplace. It brings a great opportunity to improve their experience and skills, and can help them to gain a promotion easier. Secondly, staying at one organization can create a comfort zone around colleagues because they have worked together for many years, and understand each other’s working style. In addition, in many companies, employers will pay more bonuses and gifts for workers who have been there for a long time. It seems to me that staying at one company gives people a big chance to build a reputation of dependability. A worker who constantly switches jobs may have difficulties in getting jobs in the future, because employers always invest resources to train a worker, and this investment is lost if the worker leaves a company.

Inclusion, people should think carefully before deciding to remain their workplace or change to work for different organizations.



  

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lynrdTopic: Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations.

You did not include the essay prompt. That is critical for us to evaluate "task response."

Here is my assumption:

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and inc

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