Please review my IELTS essay

As our world becomes more and more fast-paced, advertising has become one of the most effective ways to market upcoming products. As a result, the process of bringing up a product has evolved considerably from how it was in the past, especially for products designed for children and teens. However, some people believe advertisements targeting children are inappropriate. I cannot entirely agree that advertisements that target children should be prohibited.

Above all, many people argue that due to advertisement restrictions, they may end up with a product that degrades over time due to a lack of young customers. Children and teenagers are a significant component of the marketing customers. Therefore, the lack of these consumers would lead to a nation's economy's decline. For instance, the primary consumption of chocolate, toddler's toys, and fast food industries are from the youth. These industries would have never become as successful as they have become because of the sophisticated marketing strategy that targets young children.

The opponent of this proposal might declare that the information disseminated to children is inaccessible to the children precisely because they cannot analyze that information. Therefore, they might claim their parents for money in unnecessary products which have an exorbitant price. This conception is correct in only one aspect – children do ask their parents for money. Take an example of advertisements that commercialize saving environment companies. There is no objective way to categorize all advertisements as inappropriate for children. In addition, advertising can also serve as a reminder of people's consciousness and provide a valuable educational experience for the younger generation. Road safety, risks of consuming tobacco and alcohol are some of those typical cases.

As indicated above, children tend to lose touch with reality due to false imagery and reckless portrayals in commercials. However, children are a significant source of manufacturing industry consumption. From my perspective, advertisements can offer a unique method for teaching children about technological milestones.