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Jag Jag Posted 5 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please Review My IELTS Essay!

The Internet has as many disadvantages as it does advantages.

To what extend do you agree with this statement?

My essay:

In our lifetime, the number of people who use the Internet has been increased drastically. There are few people who are not in favor of using the Internet. However, whether people should use the Internet is still debatable. Some people say that using the Internet should be managed, while others say the Internet has incredible advantages. I believe that the benefits of the Internet outweigh the drawbacks.
The Internet can have negative impacts on people. Firstly, lots of websites are unsuitable for young people, especially children. For instance, some videos on Youtube have violent contents, which are not appropriate for children. Furthermore, some old people may find it difficult to use the Internet. For example, a number of old people prefer being with real people to communicating through neither Facebook nor Instagram. In addition, the Internet can distract students, so they can not focus on studying. This is because there are lots of fascinating programs on the Internet, so some adolescents can waste time surfing the Internet.
On the other hand, the Internet also has incredibly positive aspects on our life. The Internet brings a lot of benefits to communication. For example, some parents who have children study abroad can easily keep in touch with each other via social networking websites. In addition, the Internet provides us a miraculous tool for finding information. For example, nowadays we can search for information about anything on the Internet using the search engine Google. Also, many amusing websites on the Internet help us to relax after work.
In conclusion, although the Internet has many disadvantages and also advantages, it has improved our lives in so many ways. Government should restrict the unsuitable content on the Internet to use it more effectively.

Please review my essay (vocabulary, grammar, coherence, ...) Thank you!!!

  

Top answer

Jag Jag To what exten t do you agree with this statement? As amended.

  • Jag Jag To what exten t do you agree with this statement?
  • As amended.
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2 Answers
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Jag JagTo what extent do you agree with this statement?

As amended.

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In our lifetime, the number of people who use the Internet has been increased (wrong verb form) drastically. There are few people who are not in favor of using the Internet. However, whether people should use the Internet is still debatable. (That is off-topic. There is no such debate.) Some people say that using the Inter

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