Please review my IELTS essay

Topic: The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

My essay:

There exist some schools of thought that direct contact among people in society has now been superseded by Internet-based interaction. Although there are some merits of social media, I would believe that there are far more drawbacks.

To begin with, our everyday reality is gradually being supplanted by virtual worlds. There is evidence to support the idea that social media encourages people to use a telegraphic style and resort to emoticons to express their feelings. Being constantly online cuts people off from their immediate surroundings, which can result in the disruption of face-to-face communication. People react quickly to express their opinions but only rarely engage in a constructive dialogue online, causing repercussions for mental illnesses such as autism and depression. Moreover, anonymity and the absence of face-to-face interaction can promote an uncivil or even aggressive style of communication.

Opponents of the idea might argue that the advantages would surpass the disadvantages. It is because we have become too busy to spend time meeting new people and getting to know them properly but thanks to the social network, everyone can find countless like-minded people worldwide with them, thus we can connect with anyone to share our thoughts, interesting experiences, ... While this line of reasoning is built on certain strong grounds, it is limited for two main ways. First, meeting different people online can become so addictive that we may end up cutting ourselves from the real world. Second, social media platforms are too often used to spread malicious gossip or false information, leading to misunderstandings between people and in turn, distances between relationships would appear.

In conclusion, it is admitted that social network certainly has an important role to play in our lives. However, I still believe that the demerits would outweigh them in the long term.