Please review my IELTS essay

Topic: Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

My essay:

The feminine campaigns have been launching since the latter half of the 20th century and gain many significant results. Women now have equal roles in many major fields such as policy, business or technology, etc. However, I believe that there are jobs which are considered not suitable for females, especially in the police and military.

On the one hand, people believe that women can join the armed forces because women prove themselves in many tasks. Some females even show better performance in management. That is to say, many women all over the world hold crucial positions in the political system, some of those are ministers or presidents. Therefore, women also have a chance to participate in these forces. Furthermore, there are also many missions that need women's features. For instance, women can spy more easily than men do because humans are tend to let the guard down with females, thus, get more information. Especially with children or elders, women usually seem more friendly, when they have to address situations that involve such people. These are the reasons why many conclude that women can join in this kind of job.

On the other hand, there is no doubt that males are generally stronger than females in terms of physical strength, which means they are regarded as more suitable for the armed forces. The major role of the armed forces is protecting people and countries, therefore they are usually put in violent situations. This is the reason why strength is necessary for these fields. And women, who are usually seen as the weaker sex, rarely satisfy the strength criteria of the military or police. Although they can deal with some definite missions, the proportion of these is very tiny. Besides, in a family, a woman is the person who takes responsibility for giving birth, raising kids while these forces have sudden missions quite often. And family problems might influence the tasks, whereas men do not face such problems and can try utmost in their performance. Hence, I think women should not participate in the police or military.

To reiterate, Although women joining the police and army is not impossible, it has so many drawbacks and does not suit for females.