Please review my IELTS essay

In some countries, more young adults continue to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is true that in some cultures, after graduating or having a stable careers, more and more young people choose to live under the same roof with their parents. Despite some advantages of this trend, I would agree that these are outweigh by the disadvantages.

On the one hand, there are two major benefits when sharing house with the old. Firstly, children can take better care of their parents since they easily take notice their health in order to avoid unwanted diseases found in old people. In Western nations, repaying to parents bearing is believed to be one of the children’s responsibilities. According to a survey carried out by Vietnamese scientists, 65- year- old and over living with their children have the lower rate of having mental diseases. Secondly, youngsters save up a large amount of money paid for rent, electricity and water bills. They can later use that money for future intentions or emergencies.

On the other hand, I believe that the drawbacks are more significant than the advantages. One reason for this view is that the young become dependent on their parents. Living with them for a long period of time means they get used to their envolvement in almost every aspect of life. Some find it difficult to make decions for their own and need parents’ support. Another reason is that youngsters are less likely to have aspiration for such big achievements. For example, if a young adult plan to live in their parents’ house the whole life, they will not thrive for having a private home.

In conclusion, it seems to me that the disadvanatges of this problems are concerned more than the advantages.