Please review my IELTS essay

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization.

Why this might be the case?

What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

In recent years, being self-employed is the optimal choice of many people instead of working for a company or organization. While there are several reasons for this trend, the drawbacks of this trend are huge.

To begin with, there are many factors which influence people to make the decision of being self-employed. One of the factors is that many people feel free and comfortable when working alone. This is because they do not have to abide by the order or principles of the company. Whereas, if those people worked for a company, they would be punished heavily and they even have a salary deduction. In addition, a person who is self-employed can earn all of the lucrative money that they earn. Since the income depends on that person but not the company so that he can get the total money without sharing it.

Nevertheless, becoming self-employed can be harmful to many people in numerous aspects. Firstly, when they fail in their own business, they have to suffer big consequences. In other words, they have to indemnify a great amount of money to their customers, if they can not meet the demands or finish before the deadline. Besides, the career will not further when they work alone than working in a company. A self-employed person only receives some small projects, while in a big company he can get a big contract with a team, thus, they can get a further career.

To sum up, while many people feel being self-employed is a better choice than working in a company. However, the disadvantages it brings outweigh the benefits.

(I wrote in 30 minutes, so I think it is not completely good)