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Minclm0111 Posted 5 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please Review my Ielts Essay

Question: Now-a-days many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company.

Why might this be the case?

What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

Answer:

Conventionally, working under great corporations has always seemed like an ideal choice for people of working age since it provides stable earnings and ensures a financially fulfilling life. However, in recent years, there has been a major shift in this particular state of mind. Instead of being employed by companies or organizations, an increasing number of people choose to be their own boss. While more autonomy or better income can be the reasons encouraging this trend, there are inevitable drawbacks such as higher risk rate and more efforts involved.

A significant reason why people choose to be self-employed is that it equates to having more autonomy. Since governing themselves, one has complete control over the working processes such as the workflow, the desired outcome quality, and the due dates for work tasks. Moreover, there will also be no working hours and workplace requirements for dress codes or stress caused by colleagues. Another advantage of working for oneself is that people can receive the total gained profits. Therefore, their salary can be higher in comparison with that of their counterparts working in companies. In addition, the money can be allocated for developing different facets of the work depending on one’s likings. In other words, people can freely orientate the development direction of their career.

On the other hand, along with the freedom and possibly higher income comes the higher risk rate and strenuous work. Since there is no professional department to systematically assess their choices and give out feedback, one will have to be confronted with more risks. Besides, they will also have to address all the consequences and issues on their own. Secondly, setting up a career on one’s own entails massive efforts. One has to be perseverant and acumen to deal with all the immense workload and the time-consuming and elaborate procedures.

In conclusion, despite the hardships one might encounter, autonomy and higher income are great perks of being self-employed. People should weigh out the advantages and disadvantages thoroughly to make the most suitable choice for themselves.

  

Top answer

Your text is about 340 words, far longer than the 250 minimum. Longer essays usually do not get the best marks. There are some unnecessary (redundant or wordy) phrases.

  • Your text is about 340 words, far longer than the 250 minimum.
  • Longer essays usually do not get the best marks.
  • There are some unnecessary (redundant or wordy) phrases.
  • Conventionally, working under in great corporations has always seemed like an ideal choice for people of working age since it provides stable earnings and ensures a financially secure fulfilling life.
  • However, in recent years, there has been a major shift in this particular state of mind.
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1 Answers
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Your text is about 340 words, far longer than the 250 minimum. Longer essays usually do not get the best marks. There are some unnecessary (redundant or wordy) phrases.


Conventionally, working under in great corporations has always seemed like an ideal choice for people of working age since it provides stable earnings and ensures a financially secur

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