Please review my IELTS essay.

Topic:

Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essay:

Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Economic for countries is like a backbone to humans. It is a significant part that they could not move without it. Nowadays, there are repeated discussions and an increasing demand on economic growth and how to make a country successful economically. Some claim that countries that have a long average working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have a long working time. I agree, but without ignoring the existence of some negatives consequences that might produce as a result. On one hand, a country can achieve a noticeable growth when they make working time too long. They can make enormous changes; they can develop their country in different fields such as transportation, architecture, tourism. On the other hand, we need to consider that such achievement might happen on the account of their citizens' health and social interaction. An employee who spend extra hours on work continuously will be under too much stress. As a result, they might develop stress related diseases. Beside that, social interaction would be less as an employee would not have enough time to spend it with their family and relatives. It may even produce some dereliction in their social responsibilities. Moreover, it is noticeable that some countries that apply such policy suffer from increasing percentage of suicide among their citizens every year. In conclusion, while countries with a long average working time are more successful economically than those countries which do not have the same policy but that might produce some negative impacts on their citizens such as health issues, lack of social interaction, and suicide. ________________ Thank you