Please review my IELTS essay
The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advanced technology which can prevent and solve crime.
Do you agree or disagree?
Eliminating crimes seems to be well-nigh impossible. However, the number of crimes nowadays is much lower than the past owning to advanced technology having the ability to prevent and solve crimes. I wholeheartedly concur with this premise as advanced technology can be a reliable witness and a gatekeeper to discourage potential criminals.
The decrease in the crime rate can be ascribed to advanced technology because it can store valid evidence against criminals in court. Indeed, the breakneck progress in the field of technology has allowed its products to be more functional and sophisticated. Technological gadgets such as cameras and smartphones can capture people's faces and even store videos showing every act of people. Therefore, were criminals to be photographed in the act of perpetrating a crime, they could not find any justifiable excuses for their wrongdoings in court, and an appropriate sentence would ensue.
Moreover, advanced technology can act as a gatekeeper to prevent prospective criminals. When a building is equipped with burglar alarms or security cameras, the likelihood of this building having criminals may be low. It would be because wrongdoers know that they can be unfortunate to be photographed or videoed. And these photographs and videos can be talking evidence against criminals in court. Also, even if potential criminals want to deactivate the security system of a building, it may be a challenging task and difficult to accomplish. Consequently, prospective criminals may have to dispense with their incentives to commit a crime.
In conclusion, I would reaffirm that advanced technology somewhat helps stem the tide of crimes since it can be an unimpeachable witness against criminals in court and a gatekeeper to demotivate potential criminals.
Top answer
You have some good ideas there, but you need to work more on your structure and forget about trying to impress the examiner with your phrasing. You need to design your essay before you start writing it. That means you need to plan a structure and refine that structure first, and then start writing the actual sentences and paragraphs.
- You have some good ideas there, but you need to work more on your structure and forget about trying to impress the examiner with your phrasing.
- You need to design your essay before you start writing it.
- That means you need to plan a structure and refine that structure first, and then start writing the actual sentences and paragraphs.
- Try making such an outline, if you like, and post it below.
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You have some good ideas there, but you need to work more on your structure and forget about trying to impress the examiner with your phrasing.
You need to design your essay before you start writing it. That means you need to plan a structure and refine that structure first, and then start writing the actual sentences and paragraphs. Try making such an outline, if you like, and post it b
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