Please Review My IELTS Essay ?

Topic: Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals, and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree/ disagree with this opinion ?

Never in the history has human developed as in this century. Many megacities with millions of city dwellers are creating massive profit for their own nations. However, the problem plaguing this development is population. Many people suggest that investing on this will be much better than on wildlife. In my point of view, this lopsided view seems ungrounded.

To begin with, wildlife preservation should be on the top list. Governments and organization should consider protection of wild animals a priority to stop making the situation worse. Many species may become extinct, which affects foodchains and humans’ survival. One major example is that many farmers in Africa have lost many crops because lacking of birds results in huge number of insects destroying crops. Another reason is that saving wild animals also means saving humans’ life. The action of planting more trees to create home for wild animals will help to reduce the number of floods and landslides, which creating catastropheric disasters in the central of Vietnam in 2020.

Beside saving human’s life, investing on wild animals will create big profit for society. This will boost ecotourism, create jobs and profit for the local. In addition, it can raise awareness of younger generations to continue to preserve beautiful habitats and environment for their descendants.

In conclusion, putting money and time in human population just creates short-term benefits. By focusing on wildlife, humans not only save their lives but also create huge profits and preserve the beauty of Mother Nature from generations to generations.