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Thao Nguyen 3499 Posted 6 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please Review My IELTS Essay

Topic: Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value the quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


My Essay:

There is a controversially-held view among companies whether employees’ appearances should be taken precedence over their performances at work. Although there are beneficial factors for workers to dress well, I am of the opinion that their working efficiencies are far more prioritized.

On the one hand, it is no doubt true that staffs represent a public image of the company they work for. This means that corporations can be judged on their professionalism as well as their respect to customers through their staff members, which undoubtedly acts as a stimulus for workers to wear appropriately at the workplace. For instance, in some corporates that require exceptional cleanliness and sanitary conditions like hospitals, it is surely unacceptable if doctors wearing the same clothes that they wear to clubs in lieu of freshly laundered scrubs when taking part in surgeries.

However, the clothing that a firm’s staffs dress by no means the only factor that matters to the growth of the company. Further and more importantly, the quality of employees’ works acts as a stimulus to establish the firm’s expansion. Recent research indicated that companies correlating with the creation and artistic progressions that have facilitated their workers to dress comfortably experience much more effective in job performances than those who set strict regulations on office clothing. It would seem that the comfier their outfits give, the more concentrated they make during working hours, which considerably acts as a contributor to the proliferation of the quality of works.

In conclusion, it appears that employees should be evaluated in their labor productivity as long as their appearance is appropriate with the company’s regulations as well as not against moral and ethical codes.

  

Top answer

There is a controversially-held (Do not use "controversy" or "debate" or "Hotly-contested" in Task 2 essays that are asking for a discussion of two points of view. You must only use these words if the topic statement directly expresses some contention. ) view among companies whether employees’ appearances should be taken (wrong verb form.

  • There is a controversially-held (Do not use "controversy" or "debate" or "Hotly-contested" in Task 2 essays that are asking for a discussion of two points of view.
  • You must only use these words if the topic statement directly expresses some contention.
  • ) view among companies whether employees’ appearances should be taken (wrong verb form.
  • The passive is incorrect) precedence over their performances (wrong form) at work.
  • Although there are beneficial factors (wrong word) for workers to dress well, I am of the opinion that their productivity working efficiencies (wrong expression) are far more prioritized .
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1 Answers
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There is a controversially-held (Do not use "controversy" or "debate" or "Hotly-contested" in Task 2 essays that are asking for a discussion of two points of view. You must only use these words if the topic statement directly expresses some contention. ) view among companies whether employees’ appearances should

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