Please review my IELTS essay

Topic: “Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures.

To what extent do you agree?

Some people are of the opinion that prevention is always better than treatment. Instead of paying so high hospital expenses, they just need to be more careful about symptoms that they feel.

First of all, prevention offers distinct benefits to people, especially it is the best method helping them adjust their hobbies and habits. People who feel that they will have any diseases , they will be no longer eating whatever they have eaten. They know what food they can eat and can not eat, then they get suitable food for their body to prevent potential diseases which will come if they eat uncontrollably. For example, when someone feels they have some symptoms of hemorrhoids, they have to know that hot food, fast food and fiberless food are avoided. In addition, habits and hobbies of them are set again. They will cut down on cigarettes they smoked, limit parties with wine, cocaine and libertine sex they joined, instead, they start to do exercise such as walking every afternoon, go to the gym everyday and get used to early sleeping.

Second, one major advantage of prevention is saving both the physical and spirit of them. High-tech machines are the reason for high hospital fees. People have diseases, in this case, waste a lot of money in medicine, inviting a good doctor or even money for psychological diseases. For instance, if someone knew he had some diseases, he would start worrying about his future, money he could pay or medicine he had to take and he lost weight and his disease got worse and worse. Prevention, therefore, prevents all of the above things, it can seem to be a magical medicine which treats a hundred-disease.

In conclusion, my firm conviction is that prevention is always the best choice for people due to the magic of it.