Please review my IELTS essay

Topic: Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is said that reading books is so greater and more beneficial than watching television or playing games on the Internet. I completely agree with this idea since books bring for kids not only be good at education but also be perfect on emotion and feeling of them.

First of all, kids should be more addicted to books than programs on the TV. Watching television makes kid's brains be lazy while reading books plays an important role to improve their creativeness. For example, fiction and mystery books are two type of them that stimulate creative ability of kids. Therefore, reading books rears their intelligence when they were children. In addition, watching television is the reason caused short-sight which seems not to see at bookers because when producers public books, they chose the paper, the contrast,...availably for people's eyes and it helps prevent them from eyes's diseases.

Secondly, playing games always inferior with reading books because both of advantages which they bring. Although playing games is definitely more interesting than books, it provides neither experiences nor skills so as to raise their life then. Moreover, kids can immersed with characteristics in stories and have the same emotion and sympathize with them when they really are deep into the books. For instance, kids may be cry or laugh with story's line when reading sad or happy ending stories. These situations can lead a risen emotional quote of them which is the most crucial thing to be successful.

In conclusion, book-warms are not only great at emotional intelligent quote but also better at educational than gamers or watchers. Hence, the more books you read, the more successful you reach in the future.