Please review my IELTS essay

Topic: You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic.

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

You should write at least 250 words.

My essay:

Every company has its own priorities and expectations, from its employees. Some corporations demand their staff members be well-dressed. Meanwhile, other firms claim that the quality of work they do is much more vital than the clothes they wear. This essay will discuss why it is necessary in a corporate world to wear better outfits, but why more importance should be given to the standard of performance.

To begin with, what people wear at work always has to be appropriate for the workplace. It can be said that the staff is the mirror image of the organization he works for. In fact, a company can be evaluated about their profession as well as their respect to customers through the image of their staff. For instance, in some corporates that require the fully precise and exceptionally clean like hospitals, the doctors wear the same clothes which they use to go to clubs instead of scrubs when taking part in surgeries, it is undeniably unacceptable. Or when a person has to attend a formal meeting that is surely pivotal to decide whether a contract will be signed or not, then he appears in the conference with a tank top and shorts, it is not surprising that the cooperation comes to its end. Hence, the employees should dress appropriate clothes which depend on the situation.

In contrast, the clothing that a firm’s staff dress did vital in office; however, it is not the only factor that matters to the development as well as the success of the company. Further and more importantly, the quality of employee’s work plays an important role in evaluating a firm’s expansion. According to statistics, in some firms focus on the creation and artistic progress like marketing firms..., corporations that allow their workers to dress comfortable and suitable clothing are much more effective than those who have strict rules about office clothing. Following those staffs, it is said that the more comfortable their outfits were, the more concentrated they gave during working hours. Therefore, the quality of work goes up.

To conclude, I believe that every different company should assess carefully its staff not only from their outfits but also from their performance they give to have a comprehensive analysis.