Please review my IELTS essay

Some people think the money spent in developing the technology for space exploration is not justified. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

My essay:

Government spending money on which fields in society is always debatable issue. While some people believe allocating resources for developing space exploration, other think it is necessary to spend money on other fields. In my opinion I disagree with this statement.

First of all, the aspect related to exploit space is a priority. This sector is extremely potential. Although it need a lot of effort and time, once it gains achievement such as 5g network. Other countries would buy this invention to study and update their techonology. So their countries could boost their economy thanks to their technological inventions.

Secondly, the budget spends for space exploration is not relevant to other sectors such as pulic aspect. The government should allocate their finance in a proper way in order to be able to control and develop fields which support and boost their countries.

In conclusion, technological fields is not a novelty but most of the countries are exploring for each purpose. I think funding for space should be not cut; however, the government should be more supported as well as separate budget for other sector appropriately.

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