Please review my IELTS essay

Task 2: Fewer and fewer people walk on a daily basis. Wha are the reasons and what can be done to encourage them to spend their time walking?

My essay:

Walking is scientifically proven to be beneficial for people's health. However, in this hustle and bustle society, there is a decline in the number of walkers on a daily basis. In my perspectives, this problem is caused by several reasons and we could come up with some solutions to encourage them to spend more time walking.
There are a number of reasons which affect the habit of walking of the citizens. First of all, the development of transport systems around where people live provides a more comfortable way of travelling. It might take them less time on the roads, except in the traffic jams to reach the destination. Second, since the governments care less about the construction for walkers, they don't have any specific paths such as sidewalks or walk paths for walking activities. People believe that the facilities are not fully invested to keep them safe from other transportation such as cars or bicycles.
With reasons listed in the previous paragraph, the encouragement for individual walking is extremely necessary. At first, the government should redesign or add more facilities suitable for people to walk more comfortable. For example, building more private lanes with sitting benches and growing more trees in order to provide places for walkers to take a rest or feel less exhausted when walking are highly recommended. Secondly, they can restrict the number of private cars on the roads by laws or obligations, or just encourage people walking more by giving them several small awards like having more day-off. Last but not least, the citizens should recognize the significant important role of walking on daily basic to their health and increase their awareness to have a healthier lifestyle in this busy world.
In conclusion, people should walk more in order to keep fit Thus, both the governments and individuals have to play an important role in encouraging the residents to walk more on daily.