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Vannhi0501 Posted 6 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please review my IELTS essay

Essay topic: The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the pasr few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this?

My essay:


The past 30 years have seen a significant transformation in peole's daily life since the internet was first introduced into the world. Although it is undeniable that the internet is inherently dual use in the same way as any other powerful technology, I believe its benifits certainly outweigh the drawbacks for two following reasons.

The first innovation brought by the internet is in the way we communicate. No longer does people travel over a long distance to have a face-to-face conversation, we nowaday can easily set a global meeting through the computer's screen. There are also hundreds of incredibly useful tools, namely email, internet messenger program, which make the contact with loved ones happened in a blink of an eye. Some people would argue that detrimental effect of internet like encouraging excessive virtual connection in young generation have been becoming more and more prevalent. In spite of this, most of us still have benifited greatly from this time effective way of communication.

Second, with widespeard connection to the internet, information has almost turned into common property of mankind. In earlier times, people spent many hours on reading, researching reams of books in order to refine the needed material. Now, thanks to the internet, information is widely shared, and then can be accessed with just a few clicks and keystrokes.

To sum up, despite of negative by-product, the internet has an irreplaceable position in modern life because of its influence on communication and information flows.

  

Top answer

The past 30 years have seen a significant transformation in peole's daily life since the internet was first introduced into the world. Although it is undeniable that the internet is inherently dual use (Off-topic. ) in the same way as any other powerful technology, I believe its benifits certainly outweigh the drawbacks for two following reasons.

  • The past 30 years have seen a significant transformation in peole's daily life since the internet was first introduced into the world.
  • Although it is undeniable that the internet is inherently dual use (Off-topic.
  • ) in the same way as any other powerful technology, I believe its benifits certainly outweigh the drawbacks for two following reasons.
  • (You just lost points in "task completion".
  • ) The first innovation brought by the internet is in the way we communicate.
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1 Answers
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The past 30 years have seen a significant transformation in peole's daily life since the internet was first introduced into the world. Although it is undeniable that the internet is inherently dual use (Off-topic. This essay is not about military technology.) in the same way as any other power

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