Please review my IELTS essay

Topic: The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued by some that curtailing the need for people to commute from home to work, university or shopping centre is the only method to cut down on the amount of traffic in metropolises. In my opinion, I wholeheartedly disagree with this statement.

First, this approach may induce undesirable effects. With regard to upperclassmen and upperclasswomen that need to study a lot to graduate, the act of not going to universities can have a negative impact on their study results. Although it is possible to attend virtual classes, the amount of information intake is lower than traditional classes. It is also the same to those who have white-collar jobs. Even though all of them are able to work from home, the efficiency is expected to reduce considerably, which is highly likely to lead to an economic crisis.

Second, if people are restricted to shopping centre, many forms of online shopping will become dominantly popular. However, this type of shopping may put the environment at more stake than conventional one. It is because to deliver a product to a customer's address, plentiful packaging is required to make sure that this product is securely delivered. Plastics wraps around agricultural items, or plastic bags in which clothes are placed are typical examples of this. This packaging facilitates a quick accumulation of plastics in landfills and exacerbates existing environmental problems, as plastics is mostly non-biodegradable.

In conclusion, limiting people's need to go to essential places by vehicles is almost impossible to implement owning to its negative influence on people's lives as well as its debilitating effect on the environment.